Jealousy

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Jealousy is one the emotion that we all feel at some moment. Jealousy can be defined as a complex emotion that encompasses feelings ranging from fear of abandonment to rage and humiliation. It strikes both men and women and is most typically aroused when a person perceives a threat to a valued relationship. Admitting to feelings of jealousy and exploring the emotions that underpin jealousy, which is notably the fear of losing someone who is loved, can avert angry arguments and pave the way for a productive conversation about what the relationship might be missing and how to repair the bond. Jealousy perpetuates destructive thoughts and feelings, driving us to compare, evaluate and judge ourselves (and often others) with great scrutiny. This is one reason why learning how to deal with jealousy is so important. We can have more compassion for ourselves and try to suspend the judgments that lead us to feel insecure. It′s okay, even healthy, to allow ourselves to have a competitive thought. It can feel good when we simply let ourselves have the momentary feeling without judgment or a plan for action. However, if we ruminate this thought into a criticism of ourselves or an attack on another person, we wind up getting hurt. There′s no question, that it takes a certain level of emotional maturity to deal with the many feelings around jealousy. It takes a willingness to challenge our critical inner voice and all the insecurities it generates. It also takes willpower to step back and resist acting on our impulsive, jealous reactions. However, when we foster this power in ourselves, we realize we are a lot stronger than we think. By learning how to deal with jealousy, we become more secure in ourselves and in our relationships.

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